Life without her
by Dante23-42000
Summary: I suck at summaries... Read and find out... Rated R in case


_Life was good. Life was good before. Then… Oh, I still remember her touch. Life will never be the same. Come. Come again and listen to my story. _

A shudder passed through his body. The news had hit him like thunder. _Dead? _The thought passed through him, just as the shudder. Rikku sank on to the bed and held his shoulders. _No, she can't be. _His head fell into his hands. Rikku whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry. Just remember that this affects me too. She was my cousin." With this Tidus lost it. "How could this happen" he said, salty tears streaming down his cheeks. "I loved her. We were engaged." Rikku remained silently by his side, an equal amount of tears streaming down her face.

Sweat dripped down onto her forehead. She ran, fearing the man that was chasing after her. She tripped over a box in the alley, falling down to the ground. She flipped over onto her back, knowing that she had lost. The man caught up, and peered down at her defenseless form cowering in his shadow. He reached down and forcefully picked her up by her shirt. He brought her up adjacent to his face and punched her in the face. She fainted under the sheer pressure of the blow.

Tidus sat up with a jolt. Tears and sweat dripped down his face. He looked around and saw Rikku lying in another bed across the room. She cried out in her sleep, "No! Yuna!" Tidus walked across the room and sat on the side of the bed. He whispered, "Don't cry," as he stroked her cheek to comfort her. It seemed to work. She stirred in her sleep and peered up at him. He noticed some sweat on her face. "What is going on? And why are you this close to me?" Tidus took a breath before he began. "I awoke from a nightmare. I heard you crying in your sleep. So I tried to comfort you." She breathed a sigh of relief. "I was dreaming about Yunie. She was my cousin, but it felt like we were closer than that." Tidus looked down at the ground. "I dreamed that she was being chased down an alley. She tripped on some boxes and he caught up." Rikku seemed to be debating in her head. She looked up at him and finally, with tears rolling down her face, said, "Tidus, she, she was… she was raped."

A look of disbelief and rage passed over his features. "What? She… she was…"

His voice cracked. He shut his eyes and when he opened them a floodgate was opened. Tears streamed down his face, worse than when he had heard that she was dead. "I'm so sorry, Tidus." He looked over at the clock and then said, "Rikku, you sleep some more. Yevon knows you need it. I'll take a shower, there is no way I could ever get to sleep with all this." Rage passed through Rikku's eyes. "And you think I can? What the hell is your problem? This doesn't just concern you, you…" She fell silent seeing that he was already feeling terrible. "Sorry," she muttered as she rolled over and tried to sleep. Tidus spent a minute staring at her back before he took a shower.

"Rikku, help me," Yuna cried at her. Suddenly a man appeared behind her, his features shrouded in mystery. "Yuna!" Rikku's dream-self cried as he grabbed her around the middle and began to back up. The man produced a knife from his sleeve and put it up to her throat…

Rikku awoke to the sound of water. _Tidus must be taking his shower. _She was amazed that he could feel so secure with a woman that wasn't his girlfriend in his apartment. Then again, they had traveled quite a long way together. She sat up and looked at the clock. She had only slept twenty minutes. Her thoughts then drifted to Yuna, her cousin. _Wow, Tidus is going to be in pain for a while. Maybe I… no. I can't. I can't replace Yunie. But then, how can I help him?_

Rikku got up and got dressed. She felt strangely at home in his apartment. She had lived with them for about three months because her 'boyfriend' was beating her. After several death threats directed at Rikku and Yuna, Tidus had gone and put him in the hospital. Because of that Rikku felt close to Tidus, like a brother. It was the same whenever someone was harassing her, trying to get her into their car, or anything. He was always there to help her. She was indebted to him.

The hot water sprayed down upon him like the rays of misfortune that had suddenly turned their evil gaze upon him. Yet the water was nice, soft, forgiving. Like Yuna… Tidus thought about her for a few moments. He was snapped back from his escape from reality by Rikku's scream.

He rushed out of the bathroom dripping water everywhere. He ran into the kitchen only to find Rikku standing there holding her finger. "What is wrong," he said, slightly confused. "The toaster burned me," she said, staring at him with those beautiful eyes. They stood staring into each other's eyes across the small expanse of the kitchen. They both bust up laughing. Tidus then realized that he was lacking in the clothes department. He began to slowly back up when Rikku looked down and slyly said, "Nice." Tidus began to blush and said, "Err, if you will excuse me…" "That girl is going to kill me one one of these days," he said as he wrapped a towel around himself.

Tidus walked into the kitchen ten minutes later fully clothed, much to Rikku's dismay. She had cooked some toast (one of the only things she can make without also making a mess). They sat down to eat. Rikku looked over at him when she suspected that he was looking elsewhere. She was wrong, seeing him looking at her. She adverted her eyes, blushing. "So, she can cook," Tidus said sarcastically with a mischievous grin.

"Bite me," she said kicking him under the table. "So, what are you going to do?"

"As far as what?" He asked, the mischief draining from his face.

"Well, you know… you are going to be…well… lonely." He just looked down, not answering.

Tidus dived for an interception, but was preoccupied. Wakka, his blitzball coach, called him over. "What is goin' on, brudda?" Wakka questioned, because this was the third miss today. "Yuna… is… dead." Tidus replied looking down. Wakka recoiled, seeing the seriousness in his eyes. "You mean, Yuna girl…"

"Yeah, and she… was… she was raped." Wakka stared at Tidus with a look of total awe.

Rikku looked at the mess she had made. She was trying to make lunch for them because Tidus' Blitz practice was all most over. Suddenly the door bust open loudly. Tidus swore and slammed it shut. Rikku walked out and gasped. "What happened to your face?" Tidus looked down and muttered something about a bad practice. "Sure." Rikku said, disbelieving him. _What? Why doesn't she belief me? _Before he could ask she said, "Well, err, you are going to have to wait for lunch. I kinda made a… mess."

Tidus went into the room that Rikku and he had been sharing. He sat down on his bed and placed his head in his hands. He sat there remembering her. Her soft touch, her soft voice whispering in his ear, "Get up." Tidus opened his eyes with surprise. He had fallen back on his bed and fallen asleep. Rikku was standing there, bent over to speak in his ear. "It is ready."

Rikku was already sitting down at the table when he walked in. He grunted in amusement when he saw the bag of take-out. "Well, if you can't cook, order." She playfully sneered at him and said, "Well, I never said I could cook." He just grunted and began to eat. A few minutes later the phone rang. Tidus stood and walked over to the end table and picked up the cordless phone. "Hello?"

"If you don't want to lose someone else then you should…"

"Who the hell are you?"

Click. The dial tone erupted in his ear.

Tidus went for a walk after the disturbing phone call. He found himself walking through an alley. His eyes widened in surprise. _This is…from the dream… _He heard a footstep on the cracked alley ground behind him. He spun around and saw a dark figure in the shadows, leaning on the wall. "So, how's it going?" said a gruff voice.

"Auron! The hell are you doing here?"

"I heard about…" Auron replied, stepping out from the shadows, his voice trailing off. Tidus felt something very heavy slam into the back of his head. He fell, his vision going red, then fading to black.

Tidus woke up in the apartment. He sat up and saw Auron cleaning his katana with a cloth. He suddenly became conscious of a headache. "What the hell did you do?" Tidus said angrily. "I did nothing, other than protect you. A thief knocked you out to steal your gil. I didn't let him." Tidus thought about this for a second and opened his mouth to speak when Rikku walked in. "Hey, he's up. Awesome." Auron raised his eyebrows and looked at Tidus. "What?"

"I hadn't realized that you two…"

"Shut up Auron. You are such a pervert. What makes you think Rikku and I…"Auron smirked and stared at Tidus. "Well, the way I know you and your family…"

Rikku walked out of the bedroom shortly after Auron had left wearing a miniskirt and a tube top. Tidus looked her up and said, "What is the occasion?" Rikku looked at him like it should have been obvious. "We're going clubbing. Now, I don't think that those pants are baggy enough."

"Back off Rikku. These pants are fine. So where are we going?"

"Wow." Tidus said as he looked around the club. There was a large bar, huge dance floor, and exotic women. And, the worst part is, Rikku looked right at home. Tidus whirled around and grabbed her around the stomach. "Would you like to dance?" He said, nuzzling his face into her shoulder. "Well, maybe… Hell yeah! That's why we are here!" Tidus led her down to the dance floor just when a slow song came on. _Good timing. _Rikku laid her head in his shoulder and hummed along with the popular song. When the song ended she looked up into his eyes. He looked back into her eyes for a moment before he lowered his lips down to her face.

She threw him into a wall, attacking his face with her lips. Tidus held her head to his, returning the assault. Rikku suddenly retracted her head. "Tidus, what are we doing?"

"Yeah, that is what I want to know, ya?" Rikku turned around and saw Wakka with Lulu by his side. "Uh, hi, guys." Rikku said, slightly embarrassed.

"Huh. You are just as sleazy as before," Lulu said, conscious of Rikku's flaunting.

"Screw you, Lu." Rikku shot back, pissed.

"Oh, he will. Later."

"Yeah, after he gets over his nausea. Maybe." Tidus piped up.

Rikku tipped the glass p to her lips and sipped. Tidus watched in amazement that such a small girl could drink so much. "What?" Rikku said, catching his stare.

"Nothing." Tidus replied. He wanted so much to jump across the table and kiss her… but there would be time for that. "Do you want to dance again?"

"No, I would rather go back to your place and hang out." Tidus instantly knew what she met when she said hang out. A grin crossed his face. "Sure, let's go."

"Rikku… Rikku…" Yuna's voice cut into her sleep. Rikku slowly awoke. Encased in his arms against his bare skin, she felt good. Warm inside. He muttered something in his sleep. She flipped over. Tidus' subconscious felt this and awoke him. He looked into her eyes and kissed her. Then he sat up, yawned and tiredly looked around the room. With a groan he got out of bed and tried to find his clothes. Finally he found his boxers draped on the desk. Then he reached under the bed and pulled out his pants. As he pulled them on he said, "Uh, Rikku, do you mind if I cook today?" All she did was say, "Why don't you try?"

Sweat dripped down his brow. He looked around the counter. He hoped she liked it. Damn, he hoped it was edible. Rikku walked in. "Hey, this isn't the mess I was hoping for." Tidus just smirked at her. He laid the skillet on the table and scooped her a generous amount of scrambled eggs. He stood against the counter watching her as she nervously took a bite. Her eyes widened in surprise. She swallowed and took several more bites. "Wow, I suppose it must be good." He said self-congratulating himself as he took a seat.

Yuna took a step. The first she had taken in months. She stepped out of the veil that surrounded the farplane. She looked back and saw her parents smiling at her.

She smiled and kept going. Yuna walked through the streets of Guadosalam and out of the cavern. She sat by the wall for a few minutes, waiting for the airship. _It'll come. _

Rikku ran to the door of their apartment. The doorbell rang again. Rikku got there and pulled it open. She gasped and took a step back. She then screamed, "Tidus!" He came running. "Yuna?" he breathed, amazed. "How?" She stared at him sadly.

"Remember Jyscal?" She said harshly. "If there is a strong emotion binding one to this plane, they may return in time." She looked at Rikku. "And why the hell is my backstabbing cousin here?" Rikku gaped at these accusations.

"E-e-emotional sup-port." She stammered.

"Bullshit. You… I would have expected my fiancé not to betray my memory."

"Yuna, I…" Tidus tried to explain

"Shut the fuck up. No excuses." She yelled, flipping them the finger before walking off.

_Why did I come here? _She thought as she approached the door. _He… _She bravely stepped up to the door and knocked. She heard footsteps behind the door. A blue haired man pulled open the door and stared at her. "I knew you would be back. To this world, I mean," said Seymour Guado. "Didn't get enough?" She smiled and said, "Oh, you know, it is on my list of things to do. Castrate the man who raped me." The grin escaped from his features, melding into complete disbelief as she drew the knife. "You wouldn't."

"There is a difference between what I can do and what I will do. In this case, they are the same."

Tidus searched the cabinet. _Nothing on the top shelf. Damn. Anything on the next one?_ He finally found it. He pulled out the vile. Rikku wouldn't be back for a few hours. By then… He opened the vile and extracted all of the contents_. I'm sorry, Rikku. And Yuna. I loved you both…_

Rikku walked into the apartment. She noticed the silence first. Some lights were on, so she laid her purse down on the counter and looked over at the table. There was a note that Tidus had scrawled:

_Rikku,_

_I am sorry for what I have done. For what we have done. For the way we hurt Yuna. I love you, yet I haven't dropped my love for her. I am sorry that I have to do this. Goodbye. It was great while it lasted._

Rikku ran through the apartment searching. It didn't take long. He lay on the floor in the bathroom. She tearfully felt for a pulse. A soft beat. She ran to the phone. _Hang on. _She called 911. "Yes?"

"Hello? My boyfriend is dying!" Rikku franticly sobbed into the phone. "He took a whole bottle of Advil."

"What is the address?"

Yuna reacted to the summons to the E.R. Tidus was recovering from having his stomach pumped. After an hour Yuna was allowed to see him. She entered his room. He stared at her and sarcastically said, "What, no flowers?" She smiled and stared into his eyes. "I am sorry that I pushed you to this. I… was just so pissed that you betrayed me to my own cousin."

"By the way, where is she?"

"In the after-shock ward."

The ambulance drove in. The paramedics lifted out a blue-haired man on a gurney. Rushing him in to the hospital, he stirred. "That little bitch I'll kill her again! How dare she! All I did was save her! Why the fuck…!?" They sedated him. The main doctor showed up and said, "What the hell happened?"

"He was castrated."

"Poor guy."

Seymour was released with no hope. He was ashamed and angry. He walked through the hospital thinking. He saw Yuna in the cafeteria. _Hmm. _He walked into a room and found someone sleeping on an I.V. He went over and pinched it off. The person died painlessly. He tore out all the tubing, Laughing to himself about what he was going to do.

Seymour jumped forward with the tube extended out in front of him. The woman turned around and the tubing caught her neck. She was dead before he realized that it wasn't Yuna. He let the tubing slip from his fingers, along with her corpse. He looked around and saw the cook push the security button. Suddenly, a warrior monk showed up, gun leveled. Then five followed. The same on the other side. _Hmm. _"Come to me, ANIMA!!"

Tidus walked out the front door with his arms around both girls. Suddenly there was a rumble. Tidus turned and saw a figure he new only too well. "Girls, he just summoned. Get out of here. I… can handle this." Tidus ran inside before they could stop him.

Anima was toying with them. Tidus ran in, jumped up and grabbed one of the chains that covered its body. He climbed up until he was just below its neck. He pulled out Brotherhood, the sword that Wakka gave him, and plunged it into its neck. Anima was stunned. Tidus struck again. Again. Until it fell. Then he attacked Seymour. He butchered him, all the while screaming, "You evil motherfucker! You raped her, you bastard, I'll kill you!!" Yuna found Tidus standing over a corpse with his sword drawn. There was blood all over the floor, walls, and the sword. "I… I killed him, Yunie. Oh, Yevon help me," He said as he fell to his knees.

Tidus awoke in the apartment the next day. He suddenly realized that he had released three months worth of agony and hatred. Yuna was amazed that Seymour survived as long as he did when it was released. Hell, she was surprised the sword had lasted. Tidus felt… refreshed. He had avenged his fiancé and saved a hospital of innocents. Well… no. No Yevonite was innocent. Especially not after the way that they… no. It was in the past. Yuna had forgiven them… so why couldn't he?

Yuna walked up to the door, tears in her eyes. "You bastard!" She screamed before she was about to leave. Tidus came up behind her and grabbed her around the waist. He pulled her back and pushed her against a wall. "Yuna, do you know me? I mean really know me? Do you know the hell I have lived? Stay for a while and you will understand."

"My father left us three days after I was born." He began after they both calmed down. "My mother was a heroin-addicted stripper. My father knew that she wasn't ever going to be worth trying to change. She was murdered when I was three. Something to do with a loan shark or something like that. I was sent to a corrupt foster home with the 'parents' pimping off the teenage girls. The guys were sent off to work. I, whom was too young to be of use, was a form of 'stress relief'."

"One day in class I broke down and told the teachers what I was going through. That was the end of one hell, and into the next. I was sent to an old couple. They abused me, just not as hard. One day, a salesman came to the door and looked into the window and saw them hitting me. He bust through the window and pushed them away and took me to his apartment. This was my first encounter with Auron." Tidus continued, pulling her in to the tragedy that was his life. "Auron sheltered me illegally and fed me. He kept me secret until I was six. The state took me away from him and tried to put me in an orphanage. After three days I ran away. On the streets I picked up my first joint that year. When I was fourteen, I met a girl and we started talking. She said something about people that get high are throwing their lives away. So I threw the joints away. I did it for her. She left me after about a month. The state found me again and took me too him. My father. The same bastard that left a three-day-old child."

"I hated him from the moment I met him. He put out his hand to shake but I slapped it away and started screaming about how he could just leave mom and I. He looked down and said softly 'I'm sorry. I, was just too young at the time.' I wanted to kill him so bad… well, Yuna, now you know the bulk of it. I'm sorry that you have to hear this, but it would be better for you to know before you leave me." She stared at him sadly. "Oh, Tidus, I couldn't. Ever. You need someone to hold. I now understand why you were with Rikku when I died. You just need to be with someone. You have been too alone throughout your life. I love you." She leaned close, wiped the tear from his eye, and kissed him. He returned the kiss. She let him envelope her and they sank to the nearest thing that could support them: the bed.

Tidus woke up to the sound of Limp Bizkit. He sat up and saw Yuna exorcising in the middle of the room. Tidus wasn't a morning person. "Turn that shit down." He growled, harsher than he had meant. She looked over her shoulder with a look of fear. "Sorry," She whimpered.

"No, I am. I just hate mornings."

"That explains a lot."

Yuna began to cook breakfast. She hummed as she did this. Tidus snuck up behind her. He noticed that her flesh was showing between the waistline of her pants and her shirt. He reached forward and she emitted a yelp. "Damn, your hands are cold!" She said, spinning around and wrapping her arms around his head. She brought her head up to his… as the doorbell rang. "Shit," Tidus whispered. "I'll get it."

A warrior monk holding a file folder stood on the other side of the door. Tidus walk out into the hall. "What is the matter?" Tidus nervously questioned.

"Do you know this woman?" The warrior monk opened the folder and held up a picture. Tidus looked at it and slammed his fist into the wall. "Yeah, she was my girl' for about a month," Tidus sadly said, a tear escaping from his eyes. He took another look at the picture. It displayed Rikku lying in a pile of blood with a gun on the ground next to her.

Tidus felt devastated. Rikku was gone. Forever. He shared with her what she needed. Her last boyfriend had abused her. Tidus had disapproved of him from the start. He was a violent drunkard who hated the world. He used Rikku. He used her for sex, stress relief, and someone to triumph over. And the sad thing about the whole conundrum was that Rikku was willing to give him a second chance, after all that he had put her through. His name was Seymour. Seymour Guado.

A young man walked up to the door. He began to wonder what he was doing. Doing in these people's house. Tidus and Yuna. They believed that they were being stalked. Taking a breath, he knocked on the door. Another man, presumably Tidus, a little older than he, blonde, tall, and muscular. He gestured for him to enter. "So, Gippal. What do you think about my report?" Tidus said, leaning on the counter.

"Well, Tidus, I think that you might be right. It looks like someone is stalking you two. Who could it-" Gippal was cut off by Yuna walking in from the living room. "Gippal! How are you!?" Yuna yelled. She sat on the counter next to Tidus.

"Err, fine. Uh, Tidus, could I sleep here tonight? Paine is trying to divorce me, the evil bitch."

"Sure. You don't mind the couch, do ya?"

Yuna walked into the bedroom that they shared with tears in her eyes. _How could he…_ Yuna felt her heart breaking. _He is… cheating on… me? Lulu, my own stepsister? That BITCH! I'll kill them. I'll kill them both! _She walked over to the closet and opened it. She reached up to the shelf and pulled down a box that was wrapped in an embroidered cloth. As she began to remove the cloth, she second-guessed herself. A wave of sadness came over her as she replaced the cloth and the box. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking back to see whom it was she saw him. Gippal. She turned around and hugged him, knowing what she was doing was wrong, just not caring. He kissed her shoulder, began massaging her back. Gippal pulled back to look into her eyes. Raising his hand to wipe her tears, he whispered, "Don't cry. It will be alright."

Tidus staggered into the doorframe, banging his knee into the wood. _Damn, Lulu is hot. I wonder how Wakka handles her. Though, she isn't quite my type. She is… scary. I would never cheat on Yuna. I love her too much. I am so fucking drunk…_ Tidus walked in through the door. He noticed that the room looked pink. Alcohol tends to do this to him, so he ignored it. He walked into the bedroom and saw her. And him. Gippal and Yuna. Sleeping. Together. Tidus began to freak out. "What the fuck! Gippal, you motherfuckin' asshole! I oughta fuckin' kill you!!"

Yuna began to make some coffee. Gippal and Tidus were already seated at the kitchen table. Yuna brought the three full mugs to the table. She sat down as she passed them out. Tidus sighed. "Ok. First off, why would you do this?"

Yuna spoke out softly, "I thought that you were cheating on me with Lu. I was going to kill you two. I decided not to, to give you the benefit of the doubt. Gippal noticed me crying and lent a shoulder to cry on. Of course that shoulder became… oh, Tidus, I am so sorry. Could you ever forgive…?" By this time she was speaking through sobs.

"Of course. It is my fault for going out and getting drunk. I am the sorry one. Oh, and Gippal, I won't mention this to Paine. You have my word."

"Thanks, Tidus. You are a saint." Gippal said, entering the conversation, and ending it.

Yuna stood up first when they were done. She rushed out of the room, leaving the men staring after her. "Hey Gippal, you need to go to bed. I have… business to attend to." Tidus said and Gippal nodded. Tidus walked into the bedroom. He found Yuna standing in the middle of the room. He walked up and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She spun around and buried her face into his chest. She sobbed into his chest as he massaged her back. "Yuna, its ok. We're ok." Yuna pulled back.

"No, Tidus. It isn't. You, are cheating on me with Lulu!"

"What? You think what? I wouldn't cheat on you!"

"Yeah, that is what I had thought. Before."

"Well, Lulu and I have a game. We jokingly hit on each other. Its just for entertainment."

"Oh, yes. You just love to have women hitting on you all the time, don't you?"

"No, it's just a gam-"

"Bullshit. I'm leaving. This is… Goodbye."

He tipped the glass up to his lips. _Damn. I love- loved. I loved you._ Tidus thought as he lowered the bottle to the tabletop. He was in his home drinking, a picture frame standing in front of him on the table. Yuna smiled out at him through the cracked glass. Tidus gripped the side of the table with his left hand. His right hand rose to his head holding a gun. He began to squeeze the trigger when a tear escaped his eye. He looked down at the picture and sighed. "Damn it!" He yelled in a half-drunken voice as he slammed the gun down to the table. He lifted the bottle and drained it in a swig. It slipped from his fingers as he stumbled into a wall. In slow motion he saw the glass break, as he felt his heart break. He stepped back up to the table and grabbed the gun. Nothing stopped him this time. He fell to the ground, a stream of blood pouring from his temple.


End file.
